Previously on The Mundane Adventures of an American Teenager-
"I'm not okay. But you can't help anyway."
"I love you, but you made me cry myself to sleep last night."
"I don't like you as much as my other friends."
"Okay. . ." *crying* "I love you."
"Fine. You know what? I'm done caring. No one's opinion about me matters except my own."
"I'm finally happy with myself."
"I am so alone."
Okay, so that was a lot different than most of my blog posts. I was motivated by someone whose blog you should check out to write something, but I wasn't sure what. I looked up writing prompts, and one said to write, including what would be in the recap of my life if it was a TV show.
I suppose I can't leave you all with just snippets of my life. You haven't seen every detail. You won't know every detail, but here are the general portions vital to your understanding.
When I was 12, I felt very ignored. No one was as interested in me as I was in them. In all my immaturity, I was deeply offended and personally hurt. Going through the rest of my relations, I began to question the motives of everyone I knew and was cynical of anyone who tried to talk to me. I turned into the shyest, saddest, quietest person you could imagine. Eventually, it wasn't even about how much I was hurting or how lonely I was. It was just who I had turned into.
Time dragged on and I found my sad, lonely self at a high school camp for the first time. I already had some friends, and since I was so shy I mostly only talked to them. In fact, I built my whole being and happiness around one individual. The one person in whom I put my trust was the only person who didn't deserve it. This individual went around sharing in camaraderie with a specific group of people and didn't associate with me on the level which I felt I deserved. I was so confused and hurt, and finally decided to talk to the person. I said that I had gathered that I wasn't as liked as this person's other friends. The individual confirmed all of my suspicions. There was no apology or gentle word. All the "friend" left was an empty hole and searing pain.
I suppose I can't leave you all with just snippets of my life. You haven't seen every detail. You won't know every detail, but here are the general portions vital to your understanding.
When I was 12, I felt very ignored. No one was as interested in me as I was in them. In all my immaturity, I was deeply offended and personally hurt. Going through the rest of my relations, I began to question the motives of everyone I knew and was cynical of anyone who tried to talk to me. I turned into the shyest, saddest, quietest person you could imagine. Eventually, it wasn't even about how much I was hurting or how lonely I was. It was just who I had turned into.
Time dragged on and I found my sad, lonely self at a high school camp for the first time. I already had some friends, and since I was so shy I mostly only talked to them. In fact, I built my whole being and happiness around one individual. The one person in whom I put my trust was the only person who didn't deserve it. This individual went around sharing in camaraderie with a specific group of people and didn't associate with me on the level which I felt I deserved. I was so confused and hurt, and finally decided to talk to the person. I said that I had gathered that I wasn't as liked as this person's other friends. The individual confirmed all of my suspicions. There was no apology or gentle word. All the "friend" left was an empty hole and searing pain.
The next few days are a blur. I can't even remember what happened, but I don't doubt it was anything short of misery. I might have despondently done schoolwork. I might have cried my eyes out. I just honestly don't know.
Finally, whether it was a few days or a few weeks, I learned to stop caring. This person had the stupidest reasons to dislike me: I was different from her and I was shy. With this healing I forgot about the other pains and learned to move past those, too.
Life is a lot better, but it's still not perfect. I am sometimes sad and lonely, but I am okay and I am happy with myself.
